Chicken Parmesan 2: Electric Boogaloo (I hate clams I was just in my feelings)

This wasn’t on the content schedule either. Shut up. I don’t trust clams. It’s kinda like how I don’t trust white men or snakes or people that do community theatre or dudes named Harvey or gnomes *they’re listening* or poets… I may just have trust issues.

Ingredients

Thinly sliced chicken breast
3 large eggs
2c Italian breadcrumbs
2 Tbsp cornstarch
1/2 Tbsp salt
1/2 Tbsp pepper
1/2 Tbsp red pepper flakes
1/2 garlic powder
Neutral oil
Red sauce (shameless plug)
Shaved parmesan
Mozzarella

Instructions

Before you start cooking, please make sure the mother and her three children you’re about to desecrate are at room temp. You’re a monster. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk your dry ingredients. A fork will work, too. You just want to make sure there aren’t any clumps. Bathe your poultry in the bodies of her young, allowing excess egg to drip off. You don’t need to do this, but the extra moisture will make the frying part messy. Do the same thing with the breading. Once everything is set, place your pan over medium-heat. Wait a little bit before adding the oil. The most important part is to make sure your oil is at peak frying temp (~350-375°). If you just raw-dog it and let your meat sit in cold oil, that’s on you, big dog.

Allow each side to fry for roughly 3-4mins. You can either buy the breast sliced or whole. The whole breast is the cheaper option, but your cook time will vary depending on how thicc they are.

Reintroduce yourself to the broil setting. Whenever a recipe says any temp over 475° it just means broil. Again, every oven is different. Unless you have a thermometer, it’ll be a lot of trial and error figuring out how yours works. A good way to get an idea of how the gosh darn thing functions is to roast a whole chicken.

That sounds batshit insane, but follow me. A whole chicken is the perfect size to get heat from all directions, and the skin provides a good visual que. If the bird is darker or lighter in certain spots, that means your oven is uneven. Call someone to come take a look at it. If you have an electric oven, it’s probably an issue (for you) with the heating element’s connection. If you’re a good person and have a gas oven, you’re lookin at a poor gas flow from your stove to your gas line, or your pilot light is out. Please don’t blow up your fuckin house.

All you need to do now is put the cheese on top and slam it in the oven. You can eyeball this part. It really depends on how crispy you like your food. I usually say you can use whatever cheese you want, but parm and mozz provide a great balance between flavor and moisture.

I have literally nothing deep today. You people may not even deserve this new joint. I did this for myself. Even supreme beings beyond your feeble human comprehension need a little self care. *middle finger*.

Stay Evil

*made some edits to the Ragu recipe to make it less moody, enjoy*