Villains Bistro & Cafe

I’m 99% sure I was dissociated when I made this soooooooo take all these measurements with a grain of salt?

Ingredients

• 4.5c heavy whipping cream (Divided: 1.5c/3c)
• 1.5c peanut butter
• 1.5c dark chocolate chips (anything but Nestle. They literally stole water from African children)
• 1 graham cracker crust (homemade or store bought)
• 1/2 Tbsp vanilla extract
• 7oz condensed milk (~half a can)
• 3c chopped salted peanuts (Divided: .5c/1c)
• 1.5c powdered sugar (Divided: .5c/1c)

Instructions

Your first step is to disconnect from reality. This is important, because you don’t need to know what you’re doing.

In two large bowls, pour 3c of heavy whipping cream (HWC) in one, and the rest in the other. Place both bowls in the fridge. You’re going to end up whipping both of these, but that’s a lot easier when the HWC is really cold. While you wait, place a medium sized pot filled half way with water over medium heat. You’ll want to find a bowl roughly the size of your pot. You need it to hover t just above the water. This is an easy way to melt chocolate, especially if you just need it for general purposes. Chuck your milk and chips into the bowl when the water starts to boil. Stir until melted then add your .5c of your nuts. Set aside and move on.

Grab that 1.5c bowl of HWC, and add your vanilla. Sift in .5c of  powdered sugar and whisk until it resembles Cool Whip. If you don’t have a hand mixer, grab a whisk and pray to a god of your choosing. This shit sucks. Anyway, you just made whipped cream. You’re cooler than everyone but me. Place in the fridge and get your second bowl.

Do the same thing to this batch, mixing in the rest of your ingredients. When that’s wrapped up, return to the fridge and wait 10 minutes.

In your pie crust, start with a layer of your chocolate/peanut mixture. This can be as thin or as thick as you’d like, but remember you have two more layers to fit in. Layer on your peanut butter filling until there’s about 1/2in of space left. Fill in the rest with whipped cream. Let it set in the fridge for another 2ish hours.

In terms of toppings, you can do whatever you want. I used mini peanut butter cups and leftover peanuts. Go crazy, baby girl.

Your BOI has been manic for approximately 2.5 weeks. I kinda snapped back in today, and I was suddenly making a pie. That’s weird, but it’s better than waking up in a bottle. MENTAL ILLNESS SUCKS DONKEY DICK. It’s also a spectrum. Some can eb & flow while others will haunt you for life no matter what you do. Regardless, your feelings and emotional health matter. I got Bipolar 2 and a whole host of other shit. You can’t choose your brain, but you can do your best with what ya got. I believe in you, sweetheart.

Okie dokie my job here is done. I’m gonna isolate and play Smash Bros until 4am.