Villains Bistro & Cafe

A simple recipe for the economically minded evil doer. It’s like going to Italy, but you’re broke.

Ingredients

             Parmesan Crusted Chicken

• 1 1/2 cups of Italian bread crumbs (Progresso works great and is incredibly common)
• 1/2 cup of grated parmesan cheese
• 1 tbsp pepper
• Salt to taste
• 1/2 tbsp garlic powder
• 2 large eggs
• 1 large chicken breast
• Neutral oil ( vegetable, canola, olive, lard,) or beef tallow.

                                 Pesto

• 1/2 cup toasted pine nuts
• 1 medium garlic clove
• 2 cups basil leaves
• 1/4 cup  parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
• 1/4 tsp sea salt
• Black pepper to taste
• 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice

Instructions

Parmesan Crusted Chicken

In a large bowl, mix together your garlic powder, parm, breadcrumbs, and pepper. I’d recommend tasting your breadcrumbs and adding salt per your preference. Much like any pre-packaged product, it could have plenty of sodium in it already. Parmesan is also a salty cheese so you’re probably fine unless you’re into high blood pressure.

Grab your poultry based products and a slightly smaller bowl. Whisk your two eggs and split your breast in half. You want 2 thinner, equal pieces. Dip the breast in the egg, allowing the excess to drip off. Too much of the egg wash can make your pan gross and your chicken soggy. Nobody likes soggy meat. Evenly coat both pieces in breadcrumbs and shake off any extra.

In a preheated pan over medium-high heat, pour in enough oil to completely cover the bottom. What you’re about to pull off is known as shallow frying. Same beautiful concept as deep frying just way faster and way less oil. Its perfect for thinner pieces of meat like this. Add your chicken to the pan, flipping occasionally until golden brown on both sides and fully cooked.

If you don’t have one, snag a meat thermometer. I can promise it will increase your kitchen confidence tenfold. Don’t buy an expensive one either. You’re not Paula Deen. You’re just a brain connected to the internet.

Pesto

Add your fresh ingredients to your local food processor and slowly pour your olive oil as you pulse the sauce. Pulsing just means quick, short presses of your processor’s blend button. You don’t want to blend it too much or you’ll lose a lot of the fun textures in pesto. Finish with pepper, sea salt and lemon. Depending on preference, you can eat it as is or warm.

Simplicity is a rare thing in 2024. It all just seems so vast and incomprehensible at times. It’s important to remember you can’t fix everything, but you can fight like hell. Fight for yourself. Fight for those you love. Fight for the people that just need the fuckin help. We aren’t evil, we just like to say we are.

Stay Evil